As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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