Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Help. Why am I so naked?
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