We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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