i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
