Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All the doctor said was why
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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