talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
