i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
