what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
