He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
