the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
