You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
