in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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