I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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