Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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