Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
