You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
