fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
