I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
