sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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