Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
