Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
handjob tips. give me some.
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so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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