I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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