Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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