Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
