Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize