You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize