He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
