I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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