Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
