Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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