I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We got so high we made milksteak
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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