she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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