He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
