About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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