I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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