Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
