I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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