Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
