OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
