were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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