I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
