Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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