alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
