I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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