im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
