He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
