actually, I'm a sock model
another moral hangover. fuck.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
