If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
