I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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