so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
how drunk are you?
Several
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
