Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
