She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
