Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
