Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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