let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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