he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think a kid would responsible me up
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
