Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
