I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize