I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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