I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
