I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
