So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
nutella sex= disaster
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
