I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Randomize
