I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
