there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
