we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
