i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
