getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize