Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
