i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
