I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize