Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
