His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
please don't ironically join a cult
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